Mend My Broken Heart
by ShootingStarIsFree
Summary: A bad run up to the full moon leaves Remus in a foul mood, but he doesn't realise that shutting out the person you love the most in the world could have such bad consequences. Wolfstar!
1. Full Moon Blues

"Hey Moony, I'm bored," Sirius whined, dropping onto the couch Remus was sitting on in the common room.

Remus didn't look away from the common room fireplace. He didn't even answer Sirius. The full moon was one day away and he didn't think he could take any of Sirius' usual annoying behaviour. It also didn't help that he was hopelessly and madly in love with him, either.

Remus' emotions were always strained around the full moon, he would lash out at his friends and it only made hiding his true feelings for Sirius harder.

"Leave me alone, Sirius," he replied eventually, none of his usual warmth in his voice as he was so tired.

Sirius noticed the coldness of his voice and the fact he's used his real name and not his nickname, and it stung a little, "but, I thought we could do something," he said.

"No."

"But you're not even doing anything!" Sirius exclaimed, famous Black temper getting the better of him, "you're not even reading your stupid book, just staring into the fire!"

Remus turned to face him, "I said leave me alone, Sirius."

"You always get so grumpy around the full…"

"SHUT UP!" Remus yelled, not noticing the other students now staring at them. He stood up, walking away to the dormitories, hoping Sirius wouldn't follow.

No such luck.

Sirius followed him up the stairs, the door was slammed shut in his face; but he wrenched it open. He hated how angry Remus got around the full moon. He hated how he took it out on everyone else, for some reason Sirius seemed to get the most of it. It wasn't fair, he never did anything wrong to Remus, except the incident in fifth year but all was forgiven now, he didn't deserve all this anger from Remus. He loved Remus. The real, "I can't bear to be without you" kind of love. And it almost physically hurt him each time Remus was like this. His coping method, Blacks don't get upset or cry, they just get angry, so he'd yell right back at him.

"Go away," Remus said with his back to Sirius.

"No."

"Sirius, you almost shouted that I "get grumpy around the full moon" for the whole common room to hear," Remus said, trying to keep his voice steady and calm as he turned to face him, "don't you think that would have made people suspicious? Didn't you think some of the others would have figured it out, figured out what I am if I had let you finish that sentence?"

"Remus, I…" Sirius realised his mistake and felt instantly guilty.

"No, Sirius, I don't want to hear it, you almost betrayed my trust again," he sighed, running a hand through the hair he usually kept perfectly neat, making it stick up at one side, "just please, leave me alone."

Sirius didn't say anything as Remus turned away and got into bed. He stood there for a few moments, before he too went to his own bed.

* * *

He slept restlessly that night. He didn't like it when Remus was angry at him.

He got up the next morning with the full intention of apologising to him, he only wished he could say that he loved him, but he just couldn't.

Remus wasn't in any of that day's lessons, so after they were over he, James and Peter went down to the hospital wing like they usually did before a full, to keep Remus company.

When they got there Sirius opened his mouth to say how sorry he was immediately, but Remus stopped him, "Sirius, please, I don't think you should be there tonight."

Sirius stared at him; he had to go with him. As much as he hated to admit it, Sirius almost liked the few minutes after the moon had disappeared and Remus was back to himself, weak and scared. He liked these moments because, even for just five minutes a month, he can hold Remus, stoke his hair, tell him it's going to be alright, tell him he loves him. For a few moments, he can pretend that Remus is his, and he is Remus' and the latter doesn't remember anything the next day. He lived for those bittersweet moments, where his love and happiness at being close with Remus contradicts the guilt and pain at seeing the one he loves in a state like this.

"No, Moony," he said, "I'm going, I have to go."

"I don't want you to go," Remus said, he hated Sirius seeing him like this, he hated putting Sirius in danger, he was sure this was going to be a bad night, Sirius being there could only make it worse.

"Fine," Sirius said, trying not to let the hurt show in his voice, "fine, if you don't want me there, I won't be there," he said and he walked out.

Remus turned away from the others to hide the tears in his eyes, he had had to lie and Sirius seemed hurt.


	2. A Glimpse Of Heaven

Sirius stormed back to the dormitory and sat on his bed, he didn't understand what he'd done. He wanted to go with Remus, he needed to be there so he could make sure he was alright and this was the last full moon before the summer holidays, which were starting next week.

He lay on his bed, staring up at the red curtains, eventually falling asleep hours later.

Down in the hospital wing Remus was lying on the bed not talking to James or Peter, both of whom had nervously asked what Sirius had done. They didn't get an answer.

As the moon began to rise, James and Peter crossed the grounds under the invisibility cloak. Peter quickly turned into a rat and froze the Whomping Willow, slipping into the tunnel beneath, followed swiftly by James.

They had both noticed the strange behaviour of their two other friends, Peter had no clue what was going on, but James had an idea what was going on. That's right, James Potter is observant enough to realise that his friends had feelings for each other. Yeah, Lily told him.

He just wished the two of them would just suck it up and tell each other or kiss or shag or something.

* * *

A few hours later James ran up to the dormitory, shaking Sirius awake roughly.

"Prongs, what?" Sirius asked sleepily.

"It's Moony, he got badly hurt," James replied, looking tired.

"Shit," Sirius stood up, not even bothering with the invisibility cloak as he ran down to the hospital wing.

He knew he should have gone, this wouldn't have happened if he had been there to help. If anything happened to Remus it would be his fault and he'd never be able to forgive himself.

When he got to the hospital wing and finally convinced Madame Pomfrey to let him in he went straight to Remus' bedside, sitting down.

We looked pale, there was a large cut stretching from the back of his ear round to the middle of his neck. His chest was covered in bandages, and Sirius noticed with a sickening pang of guilt that there was blood of them. Remus' hand was lying on top of the blankets, pale long fingers, this hand wasn't scarred like the rest of his body and Sirius had a strong urge to hold it.

After about five minutes of staring at that hand, Sirius took it in his own. Remus stirred in his sleep, he looked up at Sirius with eyes glazed over with tiredness.

"You weren't there," he said, quietly, he couldn't remember telling Sirius he didn't want him to go.

Sirius looked back at him, a little confused, "you said… doesn't matter, I know, I'm sorry."

Remus looked at him for a few more seconds, there was pain in his eyes and it looked like he was having trouble breathing. Sirius didn't want to make things harder for him by telling him that he'd said he didn't want him there.

He realised he was still holding Remus' hand, he blushed slightly, but Remus hadn't pulled his hand away nor did he look disgusted. Maybe he hadn't noticed at all. He looked back at Remus' face, but he had fallen asleep again.

Sirius leaned forward, he didn't know why but he bent to kiss his cheek. But Remus turned his head slightly and suddenly their lips met. Panicking a little, Sirius went to pull away before he felt Remus kissing him back.

It was better than he had ever imagined, Remus' lips were soft and gentle on his own, but not at all like a girl. It was perfect; he was in heaven, until Remus pulled back.

* * *

Authors note- Sorry about the super short chapters, but this is just the way I'm planning to write it. I love you all and please review!


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